Alright loves, here it is!
The Top Five Quick to Implement Tips for Practicing Inner Kindness. Why? Because sometimes you just need some tools to set you on the right track! Quick reminders that it’s not always about the big grand shifts. Sometimes, what we truly need, is to take it slow and implement change little shift by little shift until one day you realize you’re practicing exactly what you were going for.
1. Mindful Time-out (or time in.)
The oh so important “me” time. Let’s call it, Time-out or Time-in. We all need em. Our lives can be seriously chaotic and busy and even if they aren’t busy we tend to fill our days up with scrolling and talking and moving (or not). Whatever your vice is, being busy or being lazy, we need to consciously create time-out’s or time-in’s that nourish our brains aka our mental health so that we don’t just zone out. Sometimes I notice myself completely out of touch, not in the moment, feeling stuck. Generally, this is when I’m either so busy I don’t have time to think OR when I have so much time on my hands that I get anxious and fill my time with nonsense. Balance, right? (more on this in another post because it’s a biggie). Mindful Time-out’s or Time-in’s are about choosing how to spend your time even if just for a few moments. How is this quick to implement? Because you’re starting small. If you’re busy, take 5 minutes each day for the next week in a Time-out. This time-out might be you and a good book (maybe my recently launched bestseller?) or you and a quiet bubble bath. If you’re super not busy and you’re finding yourself doing nothing or doing mindless stuff, take 5 minutes each day for the next week in a Time-in. This time-in might be you creating a list of ways to feel more present or maybe watching uplifting videos to get yourself motivated. Whatever it looks like for you, the key is to check-in with yourself and notice where you’re doing too much or doing too little.
2. Inner Kindness Check-in.
Sometimes our inside voice gets extra critical and needs a little reality check. What’s an Inner Kindness Check-in all about? It’s about listening to the words that you’re saying to yourself, asking if it’s true (if it’s being mean, it’s not), and questioning where it’s coming from. If my inside voice is extra critical I’ve either been in some sort of conflict/uncomfortable situation, haven’t been nourishing or moving my body, or haven’t been aligned with my core values. An Inner Kindness Check-in takes a deeper look at what’s going on inside and looks for the truth & untruth in what you’re telling yourself. For example: If your inside voice is telling you that you are stupid because you didn’t say the right thing to your boss this afternoon. Check it. Where’s this coming from? Would you say those words outloud to your friend? If not, what would you say? Allow yourself some grace.
3. Write it out.
Here’s the thing about your brain…it can trick you. We tell ourselves stories and magically our brain believes it. Cool but also dangerous. When you’re stuck in your head it’s super easy to build up anxiety, lose touch with reality, and push people away. When my Inner Kindness is low, I do this. So, a quick to implement tool I’ve found really works in pulling me back to reality is to write it out. Write out the situation you’re ruminating on in DETAIL. Step-by-step, describe what happened, who was there, how you felt, what went wrong and what went right. Re-read. This works for two reasons: 1. It allows you to vent even if no one is around to listen 2. It allows you to step outside of your head when you’re writing and re-reading. You’ll be amazed by how often the way we’re thinking things went down is a little different than how it actually went down. When our emotions are heightened we sometimes embellish to make ourselves feel better or change the story to make it easier to take. Give yourself time, write it out, re-read, think critically (with kindness, of course) and go from there.
4. Choose the words that come out of your mouth kindly.
Negativity breeds negativity. Hate breeds hate. Unkindness breeds Unkindness. And so, of course, on the contrary, Positivity breeds positivity, love breeds love, Kindness breeds Kindness. This is a quick to implement tool because you have to start somewhere and you have to be super mindful. Have you ever been around REALLY negative people and left the conversation feeling miserable? Yeeeeaaahhhh…same. Don’t be that person. It’s no fun. What I’m talking about here are the words that come out of your mouth about YOURSELF. Here’s why this is important for your Inner Kindness: because whatever is coming out of your mouth is impacting the vibes you’re giving, the feelings you’re feeling and the impression you’re leaving (on yourself). What do I mean? If you’re constantly complaining about yourself, you’re going to constantly feel bad. If you’re sending out judgments to other people about who you are, you’re going to believe it. It’s a cycle and you have to break it. I know that when you’re not feeling so good on the inside it’s hard to think/talk positively especially about yourself but TRUST ME you have to start somewhere. I’m not saying speak about yourself in a way that makes you sound as badass as Beyonce (but feel free) but at least stop the self-smashing. No more “I’m so_____” (insert self-deprecating phrase). You’re making it harder on yourself. Choose the words that come out of your mouth kindly.
5. Celebrate yourself.
No major occasion necessary. You got out of bed, you went to school, you made it to work, you’re following your dreams, you’re practicing Inner Kindness (YASSSS!), whatever you’re doing and being, celebrate yourself. Make the small things, big things. Appreciate the time you have. Make the most of the experiences you’re given. The quickest way to Inner Kindness is gratitude and celebration of YOURSELF. Not always for what you’re doing but for who you are, exactly as you are. Give yourself the credit you deserve.